Miss(ing) Manners

After discussing indirect and direct speech, I was astonished when a real-life example of the importance of both appeared out of thin air. As I was at the Colt Celebration for the Jazz Band this Friday, I had an eye-opening experience. 




The dinner was in full-swing: the waiter began passing our predetermined meals to each member at my table while politely reaching over our shoulders to set the plate in front of us.  However, some meals got lost in translation and a few orders got switched around. One member at my table was not particularly keen on the fact that their meal was not delivered correctly. The waiter came around to check-in on our table and they leaned back in their chair and said: “Hey, I didn’t get the right food.” To which the waiter immediately responded with: “I have a lot more tables to get through and then I can help you.” As I noticed the waiter did not like this direct speech towards him, it was no surprise that it took a long time to finally get the order (which was not even what the person had originally ordered, but they didn’t comment on that again).

Learning from that experience, as dessert was being passed around, I politely gestured for the waiter’s attention and asked: “Is there any possibility that you have more breadsticks left? Or has that time passed?” The response I got? “I’ll see what I can do” Within minutes I had a warm, delicious basket of breadsticks that weren’t supposed to be taken out of the kitchen. :)


So yes, polite speech does get you places and help gain people to side with you. Was being direct a bad thing? No, but the waiter was more likely to help when being asked indirectly for something instead of commanded to serve impatient consumers.

Comments

  1. angelinaFebruary 26, 2022 at 6:08 PM

    I totally agree with you that polite speech gets you farther than using impolite speech. When I'm talking to someone I don't know, I would always take into consideration how it would be if I were in their shoes and someone started talking rudely to me; how I wouldn't appreciate it. Using polite speech can also help build relationships and not give someone a bad day either.

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  2. VictoriaFebruary 27, 2022 at 10:50 AM

    I loved your real life examples of direct and indirect speech. If I was in the waiter’s spot, I would also want to serve you , who had asked nicely, faster rather than the person, who had good intentions but, voiced his thoughts in a direct way. I agree that polite speech will likely play in your favor better than impolite speech.

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  3. Anurag KomaragiriFebruary 27, 2022 at 11:09 AM

    I feel like polite speech, especially in talking to someone like a waiter, is absolutely necessary. I wouldn’t say that the waiter was right to react that way, but I understand why. Your example with the breadsticks says exactly that. Ultimately in a professional setting, waiters should have to deal with all types of conversations, but polite speech truly does get you places.

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  4. Ingrid HuangFebruary 27, 2022 at 1:07 PM

    I loved this blog post! I really loved how you introduced the topic we talked about in class and then dove into a story you recently experienced. I have definitely had some of the same experiences as you, I find that being respectful and polite seems to speed up the process of getting my food out! Great job!

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  5. Rhea HedeFebruary 27, 2022 at 2:55 PM

    I love how you connected what we learned in class to a real life experience! It is really eye-opening to see how differently people are treated just by using polite language. I've also experienced something similar in public, especially in restaurants I find that being extra polite gains you more patience from waiters. I find this odd because if a waiter is busy, wouldn't they prefer it if people were straight forward in what they needed?

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