The Porch of Indecision

I know what’s going to happen!  … wait a minute, why did they die?! This is what I am thinking when reading a book or watching a film. I start off thinking I am an expert at reading, just like Foster, who gave off a condescending attitude when he said it was obvious to any reader that such and such happened... spoiler alert, I was the one who did not figure that out. In my book club book: Where the Crawdads Sing , I am at a point where I expect everyone to leave Kya by the end because she lives alone and everyone in her life has left her at some point. I don’t know what that will entail, will she be alone for the entirety of her life? Or will someone come into her life and then leave after a good amount of time? I have my predictions that the color red will be important because it is the only prominent color that appears when the novel discusses Kya and Chase. I may be completely wrong, but I just have to read to find out. In other forms of literature, I was taken aback by how wron...

I read Educated by Tara Westover for the month of September and let me tell you, it was a whirlwind of a read.  The things that Westover experienced and had to endure is unimaginable – the constant battle between bringing pride to her family and living for herself was draining and unhealthy. I felt as though I had to be making these decisions with Westover, which was difficult because I would want to choose the western ideals of going to the hospital, whereas Westover would choose her mother’s herbs and essential oils.  I keep having to remind myself that this is a real person, checking the cover to ingrain the picture of Westover in my brain so that I know these things happened and are happening to people around the globe.  As for the writing style, I felt that at points Westover’s story outweighed her writing prowess. The memoir went in an order that helped make sense of her life and piece things together in chronological order, but at some points I felt that she discre...

Yelling is effective. I have done so much screaming and yelling this weekend that my voice has gone hoarse and I am in constant need of filling up my water cup.  One of my proudest moments was when I had to yell at the entire student body in full marching band attire to: “MOVE TO THE SIDES! MOVE TO THE SIDES!” Unleashing all of the stress of the week on the poor students who were stuck by the main staircase. Oh, the looks on the students’ faces when the band screamed in unison. Oh, the random people who started taking pictures with me performing… I am still confused about where they posted it, but you do you I guess. (note: I am so intrigued and now want to see how bomb I look in their posts :) ) When it became time for the parade, since the colorguard is now coach-less, it was up to us four captains to lead the team to continue our performance and procedures in the traditional way. As many members were lethargic and unenthused about the daunting tasks of the night, I knew we were ...

As I was looking for inspiration for this post, the Youtube gods gave it to me. Matt Maeson’s new song “Blood Runs Red” (the link is at the bottom) popped up on my recommendations and the thumbnail intrigued me so I clicked on it. To my surprise, the story behind it is eerily similar to The Picture of Dorian Gray … besides the homosexuality.  In Maeson’s song, he sings about how he lost touch of his faith because he gained, as he put it, “narcissistic tendencies” from being an accomplished artist. Similar to how Dorian became confident to a fault because of his high class in the Victorian era, Maeson and Dorian both had distorted senses of themselves.  In the music video, Maeson changed physically numerous times. He also notices and reacts to how he acts and looks throughout the stages of self-discovery. When the alcoholism is high, Maeson can’t fathom who he is in the mirror. If Dorian Gray looking at his portrait was in a video it would be 1:54 in Maeson’s music video. ...

In class it was extremely evident that the topic of “art for art’s sake” is controversial and polarized. On one hand, some believe that you can separate the art from the artist, and on the other hand, others believe it is impossible to separate the two. I am (consistent with the title of my website) standing in the middle of it all wondering where I truly stand.  So, what do I do when I am confused? I make a pros and cons list and hope I figure it out along the way.  Pros of taking art at face value:  You can enjoy every single piece of art and not have to think about the morals of the artist; you only have to think about the morals that are presented in the art. “Ignorance is bliss”- even though I don’t like 1984 , I still think that sometimes this quote-contrary to the purpose of it being ironic- holds value. It is much less strain on the mind if you don’t have to think about who the artist is, or what they support, just to listen, observe, or read their art. Art is eas...

     First and foremost I would like to thank my pen. I could not have made it this far in my writing journey without my trustee Profile Ball Pen. We have had our ups and downs: you had run out of ink, but held out long enough that the word “letter” could be carved into my paper. You were a life-saver, for I had received the sophistication point for understanding the rhetorical situation of the prompt being a letter.   To my binder clip, I appreciate all of the fastening you did for my reinforced lined paper. The strenuous efforts that you went through to ensure that I — as well as my classmates— had paper to stress, cry, and scribble on for forty minutes every Monday. It was well received and I hope that I find you again, for you have fallen out of my reach and are lost in the chasms of my backpack pockets. It saddens me when I have to take lined paper out of my Economics notebook because I am in dire need of replenishing my stock of paper and finding you again. All...

This photo… so much to unpack here. To the average person, it may look like just a random four year old holding a football, but as the photo captures a thousand words, the other thousand lies behind the camera. From my perspective, being this child, I look at this photo and see a four year old with grown out bangs that were done by a hairdresser that has been cutting my hair since birth. I look at this photo and see jeans; the type of pants that I refused to wear anytime they were in my vicinity; the type of pants that I now sell to other people for a living; the type of pants that I have learned to appreciate and not have an ingrained abhorrence toward. I look at this photo and see vast fields–frozen-over, but melting as hundreds of people walk over the stuck-together blades of grass trying to reach the next party with their friends– within the Michigan State campus.  I look at this photo and see the happy moments before the disaster. The disaster that haunts me and I relive every...